Poop Bag Stories: Fall 2021


Beau and the Sea Snake

Beau’s dad woke up to him gagging and trying to vomit on his dog bed early on the 4th of July. He rolled out of bed and went over to Beau, a chocolate Labrador Retriever puppy, to help, somehow. Beau stopped gagging and his tall was wagging once more. Beau then proceeded to drink water and eat breakfast after his morning yard run.

Relieved, Beau’s dad took him on their usual trot in the neighborhood. He then started packing for the 4th of July boat cruise they had planned that morning with friends. Beau was especially excited because he loves swimming and fetching various inanimate objects. He was going to swim in Choctawhatchee Bay today!

Just as the boat anchored off Okaloosa Island, Beau spotted a pretty female dog and her humans having fun on-shore. He wanted greet her with a “Woof! Woof!” Jumping off the backside of the boat with dad chasing after him, Beau half-moon-walked and half-swam towards his new girlfriend.

All the excitement must have caused his bowels to loosen up, because, just before reaching the shore, Beau stopped abruptly, crouched and expelled a very long, contiguous piece of poop in the water. The humans on the boat simultaneously exclaimed, “oh, nooooooooo!!!” as the poop took on the form of a sea snake slowly drifting towards the group on the beach. Beau had eaten a rope and pooped it out!

Beau’s dad started desperately shouting for a poop bag delivery from the boat. Fortunately, Beau’s object of affection (who was not impressed) and her responsible dad had a poop baggie on-hand. Crisis averted. Thankfully, the sea snake didn’t contaminate the waters (much) or ruin the Independence Day celebrations. Beau’s belly felt a lot better, too, even if he didn’t win over the girl.

Not-So-Loose Leash Walking

Growing up, I never really had pets, so when my husband suggested getting a puppy, I was a bit hesitant. I knew the work and commitment it entailed, and the challenge seemed daunting to me. Eventually, we did, in fact, bring a small bundle of fur home, but not too long later, we found out that my husband would be deploying for the next eight months.

Our puppy and I found a routine that worked for us, but I knew that he was still a bit of a handful. Still, when I needed to go out of town for a few weeks and my in-laws offered to take him while I was gone, I jumped at the opportunity, thinking maybe a bit of running around in their backyard would help him out.

While I attempted to warn them about his strength and persistence at pulling on the leash, they didn’t quite heed my warning and decided that walking him in the front yard and around the neighborhood would be a better idea, unfortunately.

My mother-in-law was holding onto my 45-pound puppy’s leash when he spotted a squirrel and decided he needed to become friends with it. So a few days into my vacation, I got a phone call from my father-in-law letting me know they were headed to the hospital. A surgery, a few screws and weeks of being in a sling later, my mother-in-law can use her left hand again.

I’ve since signed up for loose leash walking classes.

50 lbs of Fluff &Fireworks

If you’re familiar with the emerald coast, you know throughout the summer different shopping centers and resorts shoot off fireworks all the time-- every Tuesday, every Thursday, etc. However, when I first moved here with my 50 pound lab, I was blissfully unaware.

That is, until the Thursday evening when I had just received my dog’s beach tag and thought it would be a beautiful evening for a walk. My dog and I strolled along in the sand as I wondered why so many people were gathered in one specific area of the beach. Thinking maybe it was a church group or just a few large families at a beach access, we continued on.

Then, the first firework on the beach shot into the air, and all 50 pounds of fluff ran directly in between my legs to hide from the scary booms. I’m sure we were quite the sight that evening as I carried my giant shaking dog off the beach.

Don’t worry, when I got home, I finally did some research, and we now don’t take night beach walks on Thursdays during the summer.

Heimlich Maneuvering

In the middle of a watching a movie, my friend’s dog, Lola, started making subtle gagging noises. I brushed it off thinking Lola just had another hairball. No, she had something stuck in her airway.

Realizing that I looked like a deer in headlights, my friend turns to our more level-headed friend and asks her to do the Heimlich maneuver on Lola. She started to say, “I’ve never done a Heimlich on a dog...” My friend’s response was an emphatic and immediate, “DO IT!”

Fearing the loss of a friendship and a dog’s demise, my friend complied quickly. She positioned herself behind the scared dog and squeezed her midsection quickly. After doing the maneuver twice, Lola had not one, but TWO, items simultaneously expelled from her body.

My friend was able to pull a disposable, plastic almond milk seal from Lola’s mouth after it was dislodged from her airway. Already engrossed in planning the installation of steel barricades to prevent Lola’s future dumpster diving, my friend didn’t realize a second item had been simultaneously expelled. It was a perfectly round poop nugget that flew out of Lola’s backside and landed in the center of her rug.

My contribution to the rescue was the retrieval of a poop bag and a discreet removal of the poop nugget.

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